12 Years ago, I looked at this cute boy standing next to me and made a commitment to love, honor, and cherish him and only him for the rest of my life.
We weren’t a love at first sight story.
He had a girlfriend when we met and I was completely head-over-heels for his best friend.
That how we met.
I was 17.
He was 21.
He knew me as the girl in love with his best friend. And I knew him as the guy who was always with my crush.
But goodness, the plans we are so sure of can change on their end pretty quickly. I have to think that God smiles everytime he sees us thinking that we have it all planned out how WE want it to go.
One evening in the front yard of one of my girlfriends house, on a trampoline under the stars, we struck up a conversation.
I slid my phone number to him as they were leaving for the night.
And that was it, we were like PB&J after that. Inseparable.
Yeah, no.
We dated. And he broke my heart six months into the relationship.
I was shattered.
We didn’t see each other for close to a year when our best friends decided to get married. I was asked to be the maid of honor for this friend that I adore.
He was asked to be the best man.
How in the world was I going to be able to be around him? I am a very resilient person, but I knew that this was going to be hard.
So, I endure the awkward encounters. I endured the heartbreaking moments when he left our company to go see the reason our relationship fell apart (thankfully I never had to meet her).
But it all changed when he asked me one evening, “Can we talk?”
“I’m sorry.”
As soon as he spoke these words to me, I forgave him. I forgave him for the hurt. I forgave him for all of it. And we talked. We talked about how we were. We talked about our lives and how they had changed since we had said goodbye.
And somehow the pieces fell back together again.
We moved in together in a tiny one bedroom apartment in a crummy little area of the town he grew up in. But I loved it. It was our beginning.
So, it’s not gonna be easy, it’s gonna be really hard. And we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I wanna do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever. You and me. Everyday.
Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
Our relationship has had lots of chapters, even beyond the part I have shared with you. We have hurt each other intentionally and unintentionally.
But through it all, when we stood in the rubble of everything brought down on us, it was still him and me. I look back at all that we have been through since we started dating and the hardest moment, the moments that I never thought we could get through, are some of my most cherished now.
Because we chose each other in the middle of all of it.
Relationships are hard. MARRIAGE is HARD.
But the strength you find in your marriage–in yourself—as you make it through the HARD parts restores you from the moments of brokenness.
We are 12 years in to choosing each other EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
I like to think that our time together before we said “I DO” really helped us understand the importance of COMMUNICATION.
The importance of FORGIVENESS.
But most of all, the importance of LOVING even when its hard.
To all my married readers and friends, Marriage is hard, but don’t give up when the road is rough. There is nothing more miraculous than choosing one person to open your life up to.
